I read an article recently that shed light on a surprising cause behind the rise of STDs among teenagers. The culprit? Ill-fitting condoms. Young men were opting for the wrong size because they didn’t want to approach the checkout counter with a box marked “small.” That moment of embarrassment—saving face over safety—led to real consequences.
That story stuck with me because it mirrors something I see far too often in the business world. Pride gets in the way of progress. Business owners—especially solopreneurs and small business operators—sometimes resist asking for help, not because they don’t need it, but because they don’t want to look like they don’t have it all together.
Recently, one of my neighbors had a business on the brink. I could see the problems clear as day. Years of experience had given me the lens to spot operational inefficiencies, pricing missteps, and customer churn triggers quickly. I offered to help. Not once. Not twice. But repeatedly. And each time, I was met with polite deflection. He didn’t want to admit things weren’t working.
I get it. When your identity is tied to your business, asking for help can feel like admitting you’ve failed. But failing to ask for help? That’s what leads to real failure.
Eventually, my neighbor was forced to close their business. The financial loss from the business was significant enough that he had to take a high-risk civilian assignment overseas in a war zone just to recover financially. Even after returning, he became noticeably distant—we rarely see him anymore—as if he’s still trying to avoid the embarrassment of being seen as someone who didn’t “make it.” It was heartbreaking. And all the more frustrating because it was 100% preventable.
Saving Face vs. Saving the Business
The phenomenon isn’t rare. It’s human nature to want to appear competent, especially in front of peers or those we perceive as more experienced. But there’s a steep cost to saving face if it means denying the reality of your situation. In business, reality doesn’t care about appearances. Reality cares about action.
Think about it this way: going to a doctor and hiding your symptoms out of embarrassment doesn’t lead to health. It leads to misdiagnosis. The same is true in business consulting. Advisors exist to help, not to judge. A good advisor brings outside perspective and experience without shame or blame.
But to get value from that relationship, you have to be willing to be vulnerable. You have to share the whole truth—not just the glossy parts you’d want in a brochure.
Why Entrepreneurs Struggle to Ask for Help
There are a few common reasons entrepreneurs don’t ask for help:
Fear of Judgment: We worry others will think less of us.
Perfectionism: We think we need to have all the answers ourselves.
Imposter Syndrome: We’re scared someone will “find out” we don’t know what we’re doing.
Misunderstanding the Role of Advisors: Some believe asking for help is a sign of weakness, not realizing that the best entrepreneurs are those who build a network of experts around them.
The irony? Asking for help is one of the strongest things a business owner can do.
Instead of seeing advice as a sign of failure, what if we saw it as a sign of commitment? Seeking help means you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make your business work. That’s grit. That’s leadership.
Many successful entrepreneurs regularly rely on coaches, mentors, and peer groups. Bill Gates has a coach. So does Serena Williams. If it’s good enough for them, it’s certainly good enough for a business owner navigating pricing strategy or customer retention.
If you’re not ready to have a face-to-face conversation, start smaller. Join online forums, listen to podcasts, or follow business blogs (like SteveBizBlog) where insights are shared freely and anonymously. Just don’t stay silent.
Saving Face Is Expensive
Status may feel important in the moment—but status doesn’t pay the bills. And it certainly doesn’t keep your business afloat.
There’s no shame in struggling. Every entrepreneur hits rough patches. The shame is in staying stuck because you’re too afraid to be seen asking for directions.
So here’s the real question:
Are you more concerned about saving face or achieving results?
