I recently read Jim Camp’s “Start With No.” The book is sharp, but the concept resonated because it reinforced something I’ve been teaching clients for years: ask open-ended questions, not closed ones, and live in your customer’s world, not just yours. Camp just explained it in a cleaner way than I ever have.
Camp introduced a clear distinction between two types of questions: verb-led (“Do you…?”, “Can we…?”, “Are you…?”) and interrogative-led (“What…?”, “How…?”, “Why…?”, “When…?”, “Where…?”). This simple split has significant implications for how I think about selling, negotiating, and even mentoring.
H2 The Two Kinds of Questions
Verb-led (closed): “Do you need help with this?” “Can we begin next week?”
These questions usually box the other person into a corner. They invite quick, surface-level replies: “yes,” “no,” or “maybe,” without revealing what’s really going on. You’re not learning anything new; you’re just checking whether they’ll agree with you. In most cases, the goal behind a verb-led question is to push for a “yes,” which can make the other person feel pressured rather than engaged.
Interrogative-led (open): “What’s been your biggest challenge getting customers lately?” “How would you prefer this to work for you?”
These questions open doors rather than close them. They invite people to explain, reflect, and share the story behind their situation. Instead of getting a one-word response, you get context, emotion, and detail —the raw materials you need to actually help them. Asking this way signals curiosity and a willingness to partner. It shows you’re in their world, not just pushing your own agenda.
Camp argues that interrogative-led questions build trust and lead to real decisions, while verb-led questions tend to trap you into pushing, making the other person feel pressured.
I’ve Been Saying This for Years
In my mentoring sessions with solopreneurs and microbusiness owners, when we are talking about sales or negotiations, one of the first things I teach my clients is that the person asking the questions is the one controlling the conversation.
“Control” here isn’t about manipulation, it’s about direction. When you ask good, open questions, you’re guiding. You’re uncovering. You’re gathering the story. You’re in their world. When you don’t, you end up pitching before you’ve had the time to really listen.
And pitching too soon is one of the biggest mistakes I see.
Why Salespeople (and Business Owners) Lose Control
Many business owners I work with are fantastic at their craft, whether it’s plumbing, cleaning services, photography, or something else. However, when it comes to selling, they become nervous and, as a result, enter “pitch mode,” often talking too much before they have all the facts. They ask, “Do you want this?” rather than “What’s holding you back?”
They’re not really listening. They’re focused on what they want to say next, rather than what the customer just said. When that happens, curiosity disappears. The conversation stops being a discovery process and turns into a pitch. Once you start talking about your product, your experience, or your goals, the focus shifts away from the customer’s world and into yours, and that’s where you lose control. Real influence comes from staying in their world long enough to understand how they see the problem before you ever try to solve it.
Camp’s Philosophy: “Start With No” and Why He Hates “Win-Win”
Briefly, what does Camp mean by “Start With No”? He argues that “yes” is often a superficial answer, a quick fix, a façade of agreement that may not hold.
By inviting the other person to say “no,” you make them feel safe, and their shields go down. The other party feels free to disagree, push back, and speak honestly. That’s where the real conversation begins.
For example, instead of asking, “Would you like to move forward today?” you might say, “Would it be crazy to hold off until you’re fully comfortable with this?” That kind of rephrasing gives them permission to say “no” without feeling cornered.
Or if you’re following up on a proposal, you could ask, “Have you given up on this project?” It sounds risky, but it often prompts a quick, genuine response, “No, we haven’t. We’ve just been swamped.” You have reopened the door.
Even something as simple as, “Would it be wrong for me to assume this isn’t a priority right now?” can trigger an honest answer that moves the conversation forward.
When people know they can say “no” safely, they stop playing defense. You move from polite conversation to honest communication, and that’s where progress actually happens.
Camp also rejects the standard “win-win” negotiation mantra. He says win-win leads to compromises, wishful thinking, and weaker negotiating positions.
In short, Camp’s system is decision-based rather than outcome-based. You focus on the behaviors you can control, such as asking questions, listening, and staying in their world, instead of obsessing over the “win” or “closing the deal.”
Living in the Customer’s World, Not Yours
This is where you add real value. When you ask questions that begin in their context, such as, “What’s been happening in your business that’s causing this?” you are walking into their world. Not yours.
Consider this: if you frame the conversation around your product or process, you are focused on yourself. However, if you frame it around their challenge or their need, you are focused on them.
Camp emphasizes that: Your mission and purpose for any sales or negotiations must be set in the adversary’s world, the other person’s world, not your own.
So, in your next pitch or discovery call, shift the language:
“How is this situation costing you time or revenue?”
“What’s the ripple effect of not fixing this right now?”
“How will your business be different six months from now if this gets solved?”
You’re asking questions that live in their world, not yours. That distinction makes all the difference.
Why This Matters Now (Including AI)
In 2025, as AI tools become more prevalent, there’s another angle to this questioning technique. Many AI systems tend to ask “verb-led” or closed-ended prompts. ChatGPT almost always ends each response with the verb-led question, “Would you like me to …?”
That gives you, the human, an edge. Because you can ask interrogative-led, open-ended, and curiosity-driven questions, you can stay in the human realm of listening, exploring, and building relationships. AI can assist, but rarely leads the way in nuanced discovery or emotional context.
In a world of more automation, the real differentiation for business owners is not just what you ask, but how you ask. If you default to verb-led questions, you push people back toward AI-style interactions, and you lose your human advantage. If you lean into interrogative-led open questions, you create space for connection, depth, and clarity. Let that sink in.
Examples You Can Use Right Away
Here are a few tailored questions you can drop into your business interactions tomorrow:
Instead of: “Do you need help with your marketing?”
Ask: “What’s been your biggest challenge getting new customers lately?”
Instead of: “Are you ready to start this project next week?”
Ask: “When would solving this make the biggest difference for your business?”
Instead of: “Can we proceed with this proposal?”
Ask: “What would you need to see before you’d feel comfortable moving forward?”
Instead of: “Are you ok with our terms?”
Ask: “How would you prefer the payment terms or timeline to be structured so it works for your cash-flow?”
Each switch moves from you-centered, yes/no, toward them-centered, story/discussion. That’s the shift.
Quick Reference: How to Ask Better Questions
If you want an easy way to distinguish between interrogative-led and verb-led questions, use the following list as a quick reference. The words on the left tend to open doors. The ones on the right usually close them.
Use These (Interrogative-Led / Open-Ended)
Avoid These (Verb-Led / Closed-Ended)
What – “What’s been your biggest challenge?”
Do – “Do you need help with this?”
How – “How would you like this to work for you?”
Can – “Can we start next week?”
Why – “Why is that important to you?”
Is / Are – “Is this something you want?” “Are you ready to move forward?”
Who – “Who else is involved in the decision?”
Will / Would – “Will you approve this?” “Would you like to buy today?”
When – “When would solving this have the most impact?”
Have / Has – “Have you made a decision yet?”
Where – “Where do you see the biggest opportunity?”
Could / Should / Might – “Could we meet tomorrow?” “Should I send a quote?”
The Silent Rule: The One Who Talks Least Learns Most
You’ve probably heard the quote, “We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak.” That line comes from Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” and it holds true in negotiations as well.
If you’re talking more than you’re asking, you’re missing it. The person asking the questions steers the conversation, and the person listening influences the direction of the decision path.
Why This Matters for Small Businesses and Solopreneurs
For solopreneurs and microbusinesses working with tight budgets and even tighter timeframes, these distinctions matter more than ever:
You don’t have the brand power or scale of large firms. However, what you do have is agility, closeness, and the ability to listen.
When you ask open questions, you uncover what matters most to your prospect. Then you align your offer precisely to their needs. That makes you seem more relevant, less generic, less “just another vendor.”
When you live in their world, you speak their language. That builds credibility fast.
You avoid pitch overload. You avoid coming across as transactional. You come across as consultative.
Bringing It All Together
So, let’s map it out:
Verb-led questions tend toward closed responses (yes/no). They signal pressure or a request.
Interrogative-led questions invite reflection, stories, and deeper answers. They signal curiosity, partnership.
According to Jim Camp in Start With No, the goal isn’t to push for “yes” quickly; “no” is safer, often more real, and paves the way for clarity. He rejects “win-win” as a naive shortcut to compromise.
You steer by asking, listening, staying in the other person’s world, and shaping the path quietly.
In our era of AI, human advantage lies in the open-ended, nuance-driven questions that machines don’t do as well.
For small business owners, this is a competitive edge. You’re not just selling a product or service; you are engaging in conversation, uncovering needs, and aligning solutions.
Final Thought
Next time you’re on a call, in a meeting, or pitching your service, pause. Ask an interrogative-led question. Let silence do some of the work. Let the other person speak about their world and their challenges. Use your two ears more than your one mouth.
The person asking the questions is controlling the conversation. And in that control lies clarity, trust, and better decisions.
Let them say “no” if they want. Let them reveal what matters. And when you step out of your world and into theirs, that’s when real progress happens.
How often do you use interrogative-led questions during sales and negotiation situations?
