How to Master the Friend-Foe Continuum to Hack Relationships

When two people see each other for the first time they are strangers. Most human interactions remain in the stranger zone. We encounter hundreds of strangers going about their business every day when we are out in public. Most of the time we hardly take any notice of these contacts in our daily lives. Yet sometimes a stranger does something that makes us take notice and we become aware of them. It doesn’t have to be something really obvious. In fact, at first we might not even understand why a person has caught our attention.

Scientists have discovered that as we go about our daily lives, our senses are constantly scanning the world around us and sending messages is to our brain. The brain processes this incoming information automatically to assess if a given individual can be ignored, is worthy to approach, or is somebody to be avoided. This gives rise to what is known as the Friend-Foe continuum.

 

The human brain is a fascinating organ. Much of its efforts occur below our level of consciousness. The brain is mechanically scanning the external world and monitoring events to assess them as normal and non-threatening, or as abnormal and needs to be elevated to the conscious brain. Most of the activity that the brain is scanning and assessing never rises to a level of needing any conscious effort to resolve. All activity below the threshold of conscious intervention is known as the human baseline.

When something occurs that is outside the human baseline, the brain will consider the signal as either a friend signal (something to explore) or as a foe signal (something to be avoided).

The savvy business person will always endeavor to keep their activities either within the human baseline, such as when using elicitation statements to capture sensitive information or be perceived as a friend signal. At all costs they want to prevent activities that will be perceived by the brain and flagged as a foe signal.

Since much of the brains analysis occurs non-verbally, here is a list of some friend signals that are safe to employ and foe signals that should be avoided.

How can you apply your knowledge of the Friend-Foe continuum to hack your business relationships?

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